As the saying goes, "Jade can't become a tool without cutting it." Criticism is indispensable for children doing wrong things. But how to criticize is an art, especially for children. The following three methods of criticism are the most common and the worst.
1. Emotional criticism.
Don't get emotional and yell when you see that your child is at fault. At this time, the child is mostly thinking: "You are half cursing, bear with me!" Even if the parent keeps asking the child "Do you understand" and "You will not commit a crime in the future", the child's answer is mostly reflexive and perfunctory. It is "You scold you, I will do mine".
2. Criticism is rampant. Do not criticize those who should be criticized, and criticize those who should not be criticized.
If the child is lying in bed, the parents are urging and scolding. But when the children are fighting, the parents are confidently approaching each other's parents.
3. Criticizing associationization, not only went online, but also "fantasies."
For example, from breaking a bowl, thinking of losing keys before, then talking about fighting and playing games. What's more, they said that they forgot what to criticize, so they sighed: "I'm confused by you!" This kind of untargeted criticism can't let children understand the problem.
As a means of education, the purpose of criticism is to let children know exactly where they are wrong, and to avoid or correct them in the future. Therefore, criticism should be based on dialogue and exchanges, and should focus on thinking and checking wrong thoughts and actions. From this perspective, criticism is a dialogue with agreements and requirements. As long as the parents are right, it’s hard for children to listen. Smart parents, criticizing children must have skills.
1. The first offender has to reason.
"People can not escape from doing wrong". When a child makes a mistake for the first time, parents should first introspect. This kind of empathy will keep the child from being bound by the shadow of failure. Secondly, the child is immature, has poor self-control, and does not foresee the consequences, so the first mistake is tolerant. Parents should patiently explain the consequences of mistakes and express their trust and expectations for their children.
2. Repeat offenders must be agreed.
From the perspective of developmental psychology, children are immature in their minds and often cannot resist temptations, such as playing video games. At this time, parents should strictly inform their children of the consequences, and at the same time agree on what punishment they will receive if they repeat the offence. Of course, this punishment is not corporal punishment, but a method acceptable to both parties. Children are more "loyal" than adults. They criticize in an atmosphere of trust and respect, and children are less likely to commit crimes again.
3. Punishment for recurring.
If the child makes mistakes again and again, the parents must punish them in accordance with the agreement, and no discount is allowed. At the same time, ask the child to tell what to do if he commits another crime. If the child is relatively timid and relatively well-behaved, the parent can also remain silent, but tell him that you reserve the right to take punishment, but you do not plan to implement it yet.